Polite Fiction

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn’t learn of it for six months.
~Bill Tammeus, in Toronto’s National Newspaper, 1991

There was a time when only the craziest naysayers warned of a housing bubble and when it burst I don’t think the craziest of the crazies predicted how dramatic the drop would be. Now we have a commodity that is increasing in price far more drastically than the housing market ever did…the oil market. I feel it’s safe to say that the current trend in oil prices can not be sustained by the current economy. I don’t even think it could be sustained in the best of economies.

OPEC might be shooting themselves in the foot with their reluctance to increase production. The drastic rise in oil prices are forcing normally stagnant people into adopting alternatives they never would have considered before. More people are carpooling, using public transit, buying hybrid cars, and limiting their travels. This will result in a drop in demand and an eventual drop in price (economics 101).

I feel that the changes people make to decrease their dependence on oil will become permanent and the trend will spread until demand drops to record levels. Almost all oil companies have nearly fixed margins so when demand drops so do their profit margins. That’s when I believe oil companies will waive the white flag and start decreasing price at a faster pace then when they raised them. Until then I’m going to have to delay the road trip.

The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children.
~King Edward VIII

Some really good friends of mine just announced that they are expecting a baby and I’m super happy for them. It seems most if not all of my friends are parents or soon to be parents. It begs the question of when I plan to have children of my own…not anytime soon I think. My wife and I never really had a serious “talk” when it comes to children. I think the unspoken agreement is that we will have them someday but we’re in no rush. Of course the pressures on us from family ever since my brother had his child. She’s a cute little bundle of sugar and spice named Lilly and it’s really amazing to see how much she affected my brother in her three weeks of life.

I’ve been reasonably sure that someday I’d have a child of my very own…I’ve heard they’re great sources of cheap labor. I’ve been half joking with my wife recently that we name our first born son Kal’el…this was of course until I learned that Nicholas Cage had named his son Kal’el as well. Now it doesn’t feel original. Damn you Nicholas Cage!

One of my biggest fears about having children is wether or not I’ll be a good dad. I’m sure I’ll be a great uncle because when all is said and done…I can return the child to their parents after feeding them huge amounts of sugar. When it comes to my own children I’m not sure how I’d do it. I’ve got some things up my sleeve that I believe would help build character for a child:

1. By a TV without a remote and make them change the channel for me
2. Teach them the ways of the bass guitar and instill its awesomeness upon them
3. Leave them out in the woods when they turn 3 to fend for themselves for 30 days and 30 nights
4. Expell the virtues of the Force and the wisdom of Master Yoda
5. Perform the Klingon Age of Ascension Ceremony when they’re 5 (with pain sticks)

Hmmm…maybe having a kid would be fun. hehehe

I’ve been getting a lot of hits to my site for an old article I wrote about my full back tattoo. It’s still not finished and due to my workload I have not scheduled another session with my tattoo artist Dave Barnitz at Modern Body. I don’t have much left and I guess that’s why I’ve been slow in getting it done. I have hopes to extend the tattoo further but that can wait. Below is a picture of my back after the outline was completed. It’s mostly colored in now and looks great. I’ll update the photo once it’s all done.

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
~Arthur C. Clarke

I recently learned how to do some really nifty card tricks. I was truly amazed when I first watched them performed. Now that I know how the trick works it’s a bit of a downer. It’s kind of like learning Santa isn’t real or the Easter Bunny really doesn’t hide eggs. Of course I was relieved to learn the Tooth Fairy wasn’t real. Seriously, who wanted some trippy flying lady with a fetish for teeth sneak into your room?

I use to believe in Superman and I use to look up towards the cityscape in hopes of seeing Spider Man swing from building to building. I use to pray hard for something, anything magical to happen to me. I wanted to be vindicated in my belief that magic was real, that it was around us. Nothing…Magic died when I was young.

In another time I might have fostered my faith in magic well into adulthood. We still see it today in parts of the world where technology had not cut out the longing for something unexplainable and the capacity for genuine awe. I now need proof. I need tangible evidence that I can see, hear, taste, smell, and then corroborated by a team of independent scientists.

I miss believing in something that can’t be explained. It’s a loss that I look back on with regret. It is what leads me to my fascination with science fiction. I’m drawn to it because of the possibilities technology may one day bring. It may not be the same as believing in magic but it satisfies my optimism that there will be new horizons.

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it.
~Jimmy Demaret

I’ve been frustrated lately because of golf. On the surface the object of the game seems simple but the mechanics of getting a small ball into a tiny hole from the span of several hundred yards is very difficult. As frustrating as golf can be it does make a promise to the player…practice more and your score will improve. I guess this is true for any sport but in golf it seems deceptively easy.

I played 18 holes yesterday with my father and brother. They both got bit by the golf bug and they both are making huge improvements to their game. This creates a dilemma because I hate letting them get the best of me in anything since it only leads to ridicule (my family is weird). That said I have been playing as much as my busy schedule can spare…which is not a lot.

Another layer of frustration is in the way my family keeps score. They like to fudge the numbers and that irritates me to no end. My brother conveniently forgets a few strokes here and there and so does my father. I may be a little anal about this but I believe the only way to measure real improvement is to keep REAL scores. Bleh…there’s only so much complaining I can do when in Rome. (Stay classy San Diego)

I know I’ll never be a Tiger Woods but I’m hoping to bring my game below 100. I’d be living the dream if I make par for a course. Everything would be right in the world if I could just beat my brother and father by a good 20 strokes. Hell, I’ll even settle for not yelling FORE every other drive. Let’s pray I don’t kill anyone with my slice.

I have never let schooling interfere with my education.
~ Mark Twain

The key to surviving an MBA program is sacrifice and a little loss of sanity. You have to sacrifice time with family, friends, and yourself. It’s a hard thing to accomplish because the damage to your relationships can be severe. I entered into my MBA program without fully realizing the high level of time and thought that an MBA program demands.

I started my MBA program the day after I arrived home from my Honeymoon in Italy. I was still jetlagged but eager to start. I had fun during my undergrad years and I thought that this program would be the same…the first day told me otherwise. Huge expectations were set by the professors and I could see in the eyes of my fellow classmates that I wasn’t the only one in shock. Thus my trek through the MBA program began…full of fear and uncertainty and it would only increase as the classes progressed.

My program is 6 quarters long and so far I have survived 3 quarters and most of a 4th. I have seen many people drop. Some of them came as complete surprises because they dropped late in the program. If an MBA was a disease then the mortality rate would be severe. In the darkest period of my program I found strength in my frustration…I was not going to fail because I would not let a full year of sacrifice die in vain.

Another source of strength that sustained me through this journey is my love of irony. I find it funny that I, a former heavy metal bassist and anti establishment enthusiast, am now in the last leg of an MBA program. If I were to ever run into myself from 10 years ago I’d probably kick my ass. Why this amuses me is anybody’s guess but I chuckle when I think about it.

I’m in the home stretch now…I’ve lost some friends, skipped numerous family functions, and missed quality time with my wife (thank god she’s going through her own program). My views on the business world have changed a lot since I started this program and, doubtless, it will change further when I complete the MBA. I’m not sure I want to remain in Corporate America but if I do I can tack on the moniker of MBA on my business cards. How groovy is that!

A while back I stumbled upon an online diary that became popular after the author appeared on NPR’s “The American Life”. The diary chronicled her time as a porn clerk and the entries are full of brilliant human observations. The author Ali Davis brought the patrons to life with vivid descriptions and perceptive commentary. She also poured her own personal insights and life experiences into her entries and the stories drew you into her world.

Ms. Davis introduced to me to the anthropological term “Polite Fiction” and now it’s the name of my site. I would highly recommend this diary to anyone with a few hours…because once you start reading you won’t be able to stop. You can find the diary at the Improv Resource Center.

Here’s and exerpt from the site:

The polite fiction of the porn section is that, while people do generally use porn for the purpose of masturbation, there is no reason to believe that this particular customer will be doing so. He could be using them for his Master’s thesis. Hell, he may not get around to watching them at all. We all like to believe that. When it becomes all too clear to everyone involved that said customer did, in fact, not only lube up, watch the tape, stroke himself to orgasm, and then grab the goddamned thing without even taking the basic courtesy of washing his goddamned hands first, we all get uncomfortable.

A fistful of Quarters

My wife and I just finished watching what I initially thought was a mocumentary but in reality…a real documentary. This film chronicled the journey of a middle school science teacher on his quest to defeat a 20 year Donkey Kong record…yes, I said Donkey Kong. When I heard the name of the film and watched the trailer I was hesitant about shelling out the $3.99 to rent this movie. I had an itch to watch Napoleon Dynamite again but my wife insisted that this movie was worth it.

I was surprised to see a 97% Fresh rating for this film on Rotten Tomatoes so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to check it out…boy was I glad I did. Although this film slyly made fun of an entire sub culture it also added a human element to it as well. It gave me a glimpse into the fierce and often devious world of classic video game competition.

I won’t go into too much detail and spoil it for you but I have to INSIST that anyone who reads this post must watch this film. It will make you laugh, it will make you cry, it will make you wish you were the world record holder of something. This film delivers on so many levels. It has a great soundtrack (all 80’s music), wonderful editing, relatable characters, and a great sense of humor. Check out the trailer below (although the trailer fails to impart the true depth of the film).

Slice of life comedy

I use to draw comics a while back and I have a nice little website called Coffee Brain. It was a comic that chronicled my obsession with coffee and the hilarity that followed with said obsession. It’s been a long while since I’ve done anything with the comic. It’s hard to come up with something funny three times a week.

That said…it was a funny period in my life. My friends were constant sources of inspiration for the comic and the characters are all based off of them. I posted all of the comics on the Gallery Page. All 100 of them. So please check them out and enjoy. Good times!

I want to be a good writer…scratch that…I want to be a super awesome writer. Thing is I’m not really good at communicating my thoughts on paper. I even struggle with the whole blog thing. I start out with a good idea but things slowly spiral out of control. I lack discipline and structure…it shows in my stories and I decided to work those kinks out. I have started reading books on how to improve story structure and develop characters. What I have read so far has really opened my eyes to how far I fall short in my own writing. Now I’m eager to take some creative writing courses at the local community college but my schedule with work and my masters degree leaves little room for those things right now. For now the books are helpful and I’m keeping myself open to criticism.

I decided to start a new exercise to improve my character development. I’ll observe random people and write a biography on them based on their personality traits. I’ve decided to exclude family, friends and co-workers due to obvious conflicts of interest. I think this might be an interesting test and I’m sure it will only help bring my characters to life. Who knows…maybe these characters will find their way into one of my stories.